Lumps and bumps

On Saturday night, late, I discovered a bump on the back of Shadow's neck. I figured it was possibly a reaction to a jab, based on the location, but we rang the vets, who said to monitor the lump, but not to worry. The lump was about the size, and shape, of half an egg.

The lump has slowly grown, and is now the size of a full egg, and quite hard, but the vets are still sure it is due to a reaction to an injection. I have to take Shadow in tomorrow to get the rest of his stitches out, so will get the vets to check the lump over, but I am concerned that Shadow is uncomfortable - I was up late last night, and he whined gently a few times when he was lying in his bed. We have nothing in the house to give him, and being Easter everything is closed, so we are just making a fuss of him, and taking his mind off it by giving him treats.

The one thing about dealing with giving the dog cancer treatment that I find hardest (at the moment) is the knowledge that our much loved dog may experience all sorts of side effects, reactions, infections etc, over the next 6 months - and that is if the treatment does put him into remission. I have heard that approximately 80% of dogs achieve remission - although that was with slightly different chemotherapy protocols - which means of course that we have to steel ourselves for the eventuality that Shadow does not achieve remission, and that we may be living our last few weeks with him.

Personally, I find all this knowledge challenging. I can understand why people choose not to put their dogs or themselves through it, and there are two extremes of dealing with it that I find myself veering between - one is denial of the problem - which means that I suddenly recall it all and it is a body blow - the other is being totally aware of the situation, feeling overwhelmed by it, and withdrawing slightly from the dog to cope with it, and feeling horribly guilty. Many people have described the experience of their dog having chemo as an emotional roller coaster, and even though our experience has been positive and uneventful so far, I agree with that.